We come a long way like dem slim ass cigarettes from VA

MiJac is free... Dude was out on $3 million bail; he was already free! I think there are some people of a certain ethicity who believe he is automaticly a pedophile, and unjustly got off. Worsening matters, they feel African-Americans are celebrating Jackson getting off. Of all trials, this should be the one that race was completely irrelevant. There was a black man who everyone believes shuns his ethicity unless at the Jackson family picnic or at the Tommy Mottola Check Fest co-sponsored my the Rev. Al Shapton. There was a jury with no African-Americans on it (unless you count the alternates). There was a white judge. district attorney and defense lawyer. There was an hispanic accuser. Where was an echo of the preparing of a race card drop?

Irony is I think most African-Americans (at least the ones I encounter) think something is weird with the man, even if we don't think he is guilty. The two big high profile criminal cases in the last two years have been Kobe Bryant and Michael Jackson. Why is it each had extremely flawed accusers, and it is assumed that we believe in their innocence strictly because we are black. I think it is plausible that MiJac could molest a child; just like I think it is plausible Kobe Bryant could rape a woman if she said no after they had already started pre-sex rituals. But in cases of he said/ (s)he said, why is it so hard to believe the celebrities in cases involving a family of confidence artists and an emotionally disturbed slut?

MiJac needs to move to Europe and do some tours to raise some money. He needs to get Prince, Q, and Dre & Vidal to produce an album of SOUL MUSIC and leave the 80s dance moves with VH1 Classic. The best song on Invincible was "Butterflies" and that song had no video, and was not an attempt at making it on various genres. It was just straight neo-soul perfection. If Michael Jackson would go back to his roots, and stop pursuing the teens and twenty-somethings, making he'll get back to appealing to teens and twenty-somethings. Maybe he won't. Well SO WHAT!?!

I utter the l-word yesterday. It was fast. It wasn't how I planned to do it. It was just a moment. A moment that I felt it. I don't even remember why I said it. It was just something she did like she always does. She is so precious to me. It just feels like we need each other. When I picked her up from work, she looked so lovely. She had on a dress I had seen before, and it is by no means outlandish. But it has this earthly look that looks great on her. You see, she has a natural glamour look to her. But she has a commoner personality to her. So its like her physical look conflicts with her persona. The dress brings out her personality and brings a different kind of sexiness to her that just makes me scream inside... In a manly sort of way of course. My first sight of her each time I see her gets better on each subsequence viewing...

It's Friday, you got a job, and you got shit to do

Something cool happened last night. I was re-energized looking at her. It was just the most unexpected thing. (Supreme irony... As I write, of 100 songs I have on random on my media player, Not Like Crazy comes on.) I looked at her getting her hair together, and you looked more beautiful than she had. There was nothing new, nothing different. It was just a feeling that came over me. I get upset over the most insignificant things, and I was nitpicking over some of them, until I was starstuck at that moment. And I got happy. I entered bliss. I wonder if I'll have moments like this in the future with her, and I gleefully believe I will. If I'm blessed to make this a lifelong committment, then I know after a couple of decades and children, I will look at her in the bathroom getting together and that feeling will come over me again.

You kids take your comedy too far, Reggie

I said something that upset her. I think it might have been more piercing than I could have ever intended. I don't want to give the wrong idea of previous situations and potential complications, but I only have done things that could give concern. I trust her. I want her to trust me. I am trying to handle this situation as well as I can, and I can only hope that she trusts me to do that. She has been a Godsend to me, and if I lose her over something that she feels could bring some negativity to her life, I would become the personification of depression.

Life can be cruel, and sometimes something good can be snatched as quickly as it is presented, but I am being positive that this time I've done it...

Hopefully I can prove to her she is first, and only....

Slight feelings of discomfort on the lower right side of my forehead

I think I may be opening up to going to my High School Reunion. Maybe its just because I have a "trophy" girlfriend to show off. Maybe its because I'm not ashamed of not being a college graduate anymore. Maybe its I know where I can get the money. Well I asked her if she wanted to go, so she will decide if my classmates will have the fortune of seeing me...

Speaking of her, we walked by the river and saw the sunset for the first time. Its cool to just walk and converse, and those moments where we have a little horseplay. I must admit though, I am embarassingly out-of-shape. I really need to start jogging or something.

Where's McGruff when you need him?

Crime hits the family. I wanted to use the family name, but I don't know what name to use! My last name is different from my mother and sister's name; yet I don't want to use that name because I don't want to be recognized as a son of an abusive husband. I could use my mother's family name, but since that's not the actual last name of anyone in my immediate family, its another pointless exercise. I guess I'm stressing the irrelevant. Someone broke in my sister's car at a Frayser Walgreens. It's a shame that the neighborhood I lived in for nearly ten years has become so crime-ridden, but as Dre says in BOB , get back home, things are wrong, but not really it was bad all along. I was seriously victimized last year when my apartment was burglarized, so I feel for my sister. The violation is hellacious, and the time for your everyday swagger to recover is long. I can't imagine how she is doing now.

On a happier note, it's progressing with she and I. She saw my fatigue induced crankiness again. But I think she'll agree that I made up for it. She has been extremely helpful, and I am so appreciative. I pray I don't screw this one up. But oh so pessimatic I am...